July 30th ~ We all have sorrow. Don’t you have sorrow in one form or another? And do you want to know about it? If you do, you can analyze it and explain why you suffer. You can read books on the subject, or go to the church, and you will soon know something about sorrow. But I am not talking about that; I am talking about the ending of sorrow begins with the facing of psychological facts within oneself and being totally aware of all the implications of those facts from moment to moment. This means never escaping from the fact that one is in sorrow, never rationalizing it, never offering an opinion about it, but living with that fact completely.
You know, to live with the beauty of those mountains and not get accustomed to it is very difficult. . . . You have be-held those mountains, heard the stream, and seen the shadows creep across the valley, day after day; and have you not noticed how easily you get used to it all? You say, “Yes, it is quite beautiful,” and you pass by. To live with beauty, or to live with an ugly thing, and not become habituated to it requires enormous energy–an awareness that does not allow you mind to grow dull. In the same way, sorrow dulls the mind if you merely get used to it–and most of us do get used to it. But you need not get used to sorrow. You can live with sorrow, understand it, go into it–but not in order to know about it.
You know that sorrow is there; it is a fact, and there is nothing more to know. You have to live.
December 9th, 2019 ~ I was watching 12 Angry Men with my nephew today. He likes this movie. He has a habit of getting angry. It is interesting he likes this movie. A while back, he asked me if I wanted to watch it. I said no. Today, however, I found myself being drawn to it. I have betting getting easily angered lately. Henry Fonda’s character was appealing. He said he didn’t know. He utilized the group to help solidify this not knowing to a point that it really appeared the young man in the movie wasn’t guilty. There were a couple men in the movie who were quite angry, but for different reasons. One was labeled as “one of them.” I couldn’t quite understand it, but the group turned their back on him, even the other angry man. I didn’t see the beginning of the movie so maybe I missed something that would explain this. The other man was described as a “sadist.” It turned out he missed his son very much. The man was raised by a father whom he called “sir.” When he was raising his own son, he was ashamed when his son was bullied one day. He was determined to teach his son to be a man, even if he broke his son’s spirit. His son grew up and the man hadn’t seen his son in 2 years. Obviously, this trial was triggering his emotions around his son because the defendant was accused of stabbing to death his father. At the end of the movie, the man broke down. He regretted how he treated his own son. He was full of sorrow. They say underneath anger is sadness or fear. My mentor once told me that in today’s society, women are angry and men are afraid of their own anger. They are afraid of what they might do with their anger.
Today, I did some meditation using Krishnamurti’s technique I learned by watching his video over and over. View it here. I even referred this link to a recent business connection since he is looking for new ways to meditate. Some questions came up for. Here they are:
- When you have an urge (e.g. anger), would it be a success if you didn’t resist it or act on it for: 1 minute? 5 minutes? 1 hour? 1 day?
- If the urge is still there after 30 minutes, is that bad? Is it exhausting that it remains? Is it frustrating?
- After 1 hour, do you still want to get rid of it or resist it?
- How do you resist it? Stay busy?
- Do you really understand what that experience is?
- What’s the difference between being in it and observing it?
- Are you experiencing healing while you observe the urge, not resisting or indulging?
- Is it possible to heal even if you don’t think you are?
- Would it be a success if you feel relief or expansion around your issue the next day?
The idea of not resisting or indulging is what Krishnamurti talks about. It is noticing what is. Seeing how the mind is. Some of these questions come from my own experience of using this meditation technique. Krishnamurti talks about emptying the mind of the known. I have heard before that people are trying to empty their mind of thoughts when they meditate. But the known includes more than just thoughts, isn’t it?