What to Do About It
Do I want the feeling wiped away?
Do I want everything magically cleaned up &/or taken away?
Go this way or that way–different approaches or look at it as if for the very first time?
Motive–background knowledge or no motive?
Visualizing the end result–although clear, I still have my life. This isn’t going to solve my problems–cleaning–not to say I shouldn’t clean–memories of past cleaning come up. There is still stuff to do. Time is a constraint–the place is still cluttered so Space is an issue.
What is a problem? Something propelled at you. This is not propelled at me. I can see this as a fact. I haven’t kept my space clean–I’ve held onto things over the years–it’s a fact!
I think about stressors from the future impacting this–what’s the point, given the “year of the rat and year of the ox coming up ( These Chinese animal years aren’t compatible for me necessarily, since I am horse) More of the Why? Which is background knowledge.
What other facts can I see?
Facts:
- Ceaning
- Holding onto to things
How you approach
- without any background knowledge which is motive
- So no time, thought, fear
Conditioning–since childhood, our brain is conditioned in problems. Can we see this as a fact? Do I have to review this every time, or once I see it, I get it? Will it stick?
Example:
Disagreement with my girlfriend over cleaning the cottage. It escalates. I feel threatened &/or any # of emotions & I feel like I have to answer–I feel compelled to answer. (like a problem)
But in actuality, it’s not a problem. Whatever I say won’t solve the issue.
I still have to do the work. I feel resistance to do it. She may feel relief if I say I’ll do it–but not completely. It is not a problem. It is a fact.
So right there, I can see how my brain is conditioned in problems–I feel compelled at times to answer, even when it is a fact–a fact can’t be gotten over.
We think we know. We think we should know. We think too much; thus, we have trouble with direct experience.
I see how our brain is conditioned in problems–Can I un-condition the brain? Is the Observer separate from my anxiety, guilt, regret, resistance, uncertainty, sorrow, disappointment, frustration?
Is the Observer & my Quality the same? I am my Quality? My Uncertainty? Or is my Uncertainty different from me?
Can we sit with our Quality? Observe it? Is there any separation between the two? Attention, No Conflict, No Effort. No Contradiction.
How can we have a relationship with ourselves?
More to come. . . . View this blog entry about Joy and comments about Time and Joy Desire.
(Note: I utilized concepts and techniques from Krishnamurti, including those in the video: “What is Guilit?” as well as concepts from Steve Hagen. I used them while working on my issue around Cleaning and Holding Onto Things.